Jealous Love

These are the lyrics to the song I wrote yesterday. This is basically what has been going on in my heart recently. Last night in Bible study, we read some passages by Catherine of Genoa. What I learned is that when I am in God's love and content to remain there, He slowly will reveal to me my imperfections and the power of His love to remove them. Don't try to understand God. It will get you absolutely nowhere. Just receive what He reveals to you in His time, and allow Him to work when He wants to work. Out of the place of Christ's all encompassing love his where our love for people will come. It is not by our power, but by His. It is a long journey of slowly growing more and more in love with Him. I shouldn't try to rush God.

Here is the song:

JEALOUS LOVE
Vs.1
How I love the way that you look at me
How I love the words that You speak to me
How I love the grace you have shown to me
How I love that you want to be just with me

Vs. 2
How You love the way that I look at you
How you love when I share my heart with you
How you love when I give my all to you
How you love when I want to be just with you

Bridge 1
I am drawn into your arms; and I trust that there I will find strength
My heart dances when you speak; for I hear the passion in Your words

Chorus:
And I am awestruck by your beauty
You have captured my heart with your selfless love
How could I fall for any other lover
When you're standing here with jealous love in Your eyes

Bridge 2
So face down I come to you; with one desire - to be yours, Lord
And I know this path won't be easy; that is why I'm giving it all back to you


And here is a quote from what we read last night by Catherine of Genoa:

"May this be our prayer: 'I do not want to turn my eyes from You, O God. There I want them to stay and not move no matter what happens to me, within or without.' For those who trust in God need not worry about themselves. As I think about you, my spiritual children, I see that God's pure love is attentive to all of your needs. It is because of this tender love that I need not ask anything of God for you. All I need to do is lift you up before His face."

When I am in a place of total surrender and trust in God, I know that His love is sufficient and He knows what we need before we ask. Therefore, when I am praying for others this week, I'm not going to list all of the things I want God to do. Rather, I'm just going to lift them up to Him, knowing that He knows what's best. That will leave no room for my own disappointment if things don't go the way I thought they should. I will see everything that happens as an act of God's love. It doesn't have to make sense, and it really shouldn't make sense to my own mind. God wants us to live by faith so that we are acting out of love rather than out of fear, selfishness, or obligation. I am so amazed by God!

Just a few thoughts from my heart!

Looking Forward

I'm thinking this weekend will be both wonderful and horrible at the same time. Wonderful, because tonight I get to host a girl here for a scholarship competition and Lauren's coming on Saturday and spending the night, then we're going to a dessert place nearby! Horrible, because yet again, I have a lot of studying to do. I have a lab practical on Tuesday, so I will be spending the majority of my morning and afternoon tomorrow looking at the blood vessels in a stinky cat, trying to memorize them all...ugh. Plus I have another test on Monday. It will be really good to have Lauren here, though! And, on a more positive note...I spent a lot of last weekend writing a research paper on Jonah for Bible in order to hand in a rough draft on Tuesday to be fixed. I got it back yesterday, and she just decided to grade that copy because the changes I would have had to make were so minimal, and I got a 100!

So, although I'm not really looking forward to studying so much, I am really looking forward to seeing Lauren! It's so nice to have her living so close. I think it will turn out to be a great weekend.

Below is a picture of me "eating" a worm I found yesterday on the way to the lab. Megan and I thought it would make for an epic picture, and indeed it did. I really felt like maybe I could star in the show, "Woman Vs. Wild"! Haha!

Results

You know that pop test I told you about? Well, I got an 88% on it. I was hoping to get an A because I studied so much for it. Guess what took my grade down so much...it's something that I have always struggled with...MULTIPLE CHOICE! Even though he gave us questions that were almost exactly the same as the ones on the practice test, I still managed somehow to miss a bunch! But, I am happy with an 88%! It's better than and 87%, right?!

I'd also like to share that I have really been enjoying my Bible class! I have been opened up to a much wider perspective on the Bible, and I love reading it as a historical book, rather than always trying to apply it to my own personal situations. It's amazing to realize that these were real people who went through these things. Many of the choices they made have greatly influenced our world today. Yesterday we had a discussion about whether or not the Israelites establishing kings was a violation of the covenant they made with God. Our teacher split us into two groups and we were each given one side to defend. Eventually we all came to the conclusion that we really can't say what should have happened (like much of what happened in the Bible)! God works in such mysterious ways, and through this class, I have been forced to ask questions that I haven't really considered all the options of. Anyways, it's been really good, and I just wanted to share that :)

Pop Test!

So if you read my last post, you would know that for Anatomy, we have pop exams. We had one a couple of weeks ago, so it seemed to be about time for another one...and we had one today! Luckily I studied my brains out this weekend! I felt pretty confident about it. I like that they are pop tests because then I am forced to be studying my notes on a regular basis rather than just cramming at the last second. Some people hate it though!

In the last couple of weeks...

Okay, so sorry about being lame and not posting in so long...here's my life in the past couple of weeks in a nutshell:
Last weekend: Lauren came to visit! We did lots of homework, had dinner at that amazing Thai restaurant (Mee Sen) in Portland, hung out with Lauren's friend who lives in Portland until 2am, and watched "My Best Friend's Wedding." It was so much fun to have her here for a change (i usually go there to visit)!
This weekend: It was my friend Megan's birthday on Saturday, so we made cinnamon rolls and ate them with fruit for breakfast, we got free drinks from Dutch Bros. (you get a free drink on your bday, and there are two in Newberg!), did homework, and then got dressed up and went to a wonderful restaurant in Portland called Papa Hayden's for some delicious dessert! (I got to wear my new yellow dress!)
Today: church. homework. lunch. homework. dinner. homework. a short break. homework outside under a tree because it was so sunny and beautiful out. homework at a coffee shop. I've done a lot of homework today! I have a Bible paper due soon, anatomy practicum next Tuesday, two other tests this week, and I'm not sure when my Anatomy test will be since they are pop exams. (I have a feeling it's going to be either tomorrow or Wednesday) This week will probably be pretty crazy, but I'm trusting God and I know I'll be able to succeed! Enjoy the pictures!

At Papa Hayden's!

The top view of the dessert I got. It was called "Chocolate Cube". Basically a chocolate shell filled with chocolate mousse! It was amazing!

Me, Dana, and Megan!

The full body view of our dresses!

Breakfast in bed: cinnamon rolls, strawberries, blackberries, orange juice. Yum!

Oh yeah, and I also got to dye Dana's hair...it was the first time I've ever had the privilege of dying someone's hair! We were so nervous (even though you can barely tell a difference since she just wanted to even out the color)!